It’s midnight already, yet, my mind just full of reflections on what’s happened in the past, present, and some thoughts about the future. This is where I’d like to share some of the prayers that have been granted, where I ended up realizing that everything has its own course.
Bucket list 1
I wanted to study abroad –Germany– that was my thought as a 12th grader. However I ended up taking health related degree, albeit for 1 year only, before changing my major to Computer Science. As a freshman in Dentistry major, I take some German courses while taking other requirements needed to be able to apply for the college there. With all of the preparation ready, still I didn’t manage to get the permission to study abroad. Short story not shortened, I decided to apply for SIMAK for CS major at Universitas Indonesia, got accepted in the end with scholarship.
Bucket list 2
The journey has never been easy, I failed here and there. With the graduation coming I feel more anxious, I have one wish: I’d like to get a job offer as well as letter of acceptance (LoA) for graduate degree abroad. Lots of sleepless night, long story short, with the help of family, friends, and lecturer I managed to get it done. Officially, I got my Bachelor of Computer Science degree.
Bucket list 3
I’d like to get job offer and graduate degree LoA abroad, that’s my goal at least for the first few years after I was graduated. I failed miserably, not for just once or twice, but quite a lot. I decided I needed help, and so some of my friends help me to do mock interviews. They suggested me to practice in some of online judge websites, to conquer my own fear of being interviewed. While doing the coding exercises I also did my best for the graduate degree application. It was not easy, a lot of roller coaster in between, a lot of uncertainty. That time I have this prayer: “If I deserve to get it, please ease my way. If I don’t, please make me.”
That time I realized, one door open another door, when I got one opportunity, I feel another opportunity follow. My prayer answered, I got many chances of being interviewed, got some offer at hands. An in the end I also managed to get LoA from one of the university that I’ve dreamed about for some time.
For the past few months, with the help of my–extra patient–partner, I learn a lot of things, not only about “hard skills” like programming, logics, etc, I began to understand myself better. One of the thing that I’d like to overcome is the feelings of being afraid of getting rejected, then there’s certain time when I’ve started to think the worst case scenario if I got rejected: I’ll need sometime for grieving and then move on. Personally thanks to his support and the other important people in my life, as well as hedonic treadmill theory, I managed to survive all of those.